Little (Coffee) Shop of Horrors, part 1

In our current place of coffee shop residence - a lovely, cozy place here in Katips, is a roster of annoying weirdos - some of which have loyal fanboys and fangirls.

Da Gamol

He's awkwardly skinny, the 'pa-cool dudes' type - his self-conscious swagger and outfit hardly argue against him. He deliberately stretches his legs to extend to the next table, so on first glance, you might think, God forbid, that's he's friends with the next guy. He struts his MacBook Pro around, giving you a glimpse of a work in progress in Photoshop CS3. He seems to be perpetually curious (insecure?!) about other people, and it's not unlikely you'll catch him looking at you. Talk about something he knows squat about, he picks up the phone and starts rattling off figures like "P10,000.00 blah blah." We call him Jr. because he's very much like a resident in Jat's place - talks loudly on the phone as early as 7 am (and goes on and on for the rest of the day), with a weird family cramped in the 1-bedroom unit and extending all the way to the common area (in a place for students and working professionals living solo), four luxury cars in the garage and uses his stuff to project an image of power and success.

You're So Gay You Don't Even Like Boys (Or, I Kissed A Boy And I Liked It)***

He's boyish looking, sports a debater's jacket and is usually busy composing magnum opuses on his MacBook. Perhaps a writer, a playwright, a graphic designer or a poser? He usually has a smug expression on his face as he surveys the other people in the cafe. He has a louder set of friends who hang out occasionally and talk about films. By himself, he's less annoying. Of course it's different when he's with fangirl-fanning-unrequited-love who scandalously tries to sound as gramatically correct and cultured as the object of her affection. (Aside: Girl also looks like a young version of a former professor in law school.)

Fangirl

He brags about his 'girls' in his trademark squeaky voice and 'cultured' sounding accent (Read: pa-conyo). He goes on and on about his ex-girlfriend and proclaims, "May girlet ako ngayon! May girlet ako!" - Fangirl is so blind with love for him, that in the same breath, she asks him, "What are you going to wear? Your best accessory?" Fangirl is also grammatically challenged, which she tries to cover up with statements in her best megaphone voice such as "Yeah, yeah," "It's not laptop." and "It's bakal eh." My personal favorite is their exchange below:

Fangirl: So, who are you going to the party?
Idol: What?
Fangirl: Who are you going to the party?
Idol: Who... Me? What?
Fangirl: Who are you going to the party?
Idol: Who am I - going to do what?
Fangirl: Who are you going with?
Idol: Ah. Nakalimutan mo yung "with" kasi.

Araykupo! Girl, if by chance you stumble on this blog, 'day, wag na siya. He's just not into you. Or other girls for that matter.

Fanboy (Wag Kang Gamol!)

Si Gamol, lamang ng isang paligo sa Fanboy niya. Kulang na lang sambahin siya nito. For more than an hour, Gamol has regaled Fanboy with his 'valuable' insights about graphic design. Expecting a highly technical and intellectual conversation, I was disappointed to hear Gamol merely pointing out pictures and the insanely obvious. For example, picture 1 is predominantly blue, the object disappearing into the rich dominant color. Gamol sez, "Itong design, ang emphasis niya ay sa color blue." Or, "Ang maganda sa website na 'to, yung paghalo ng old and new designs." And some witticisms of Gamol to Fanboy:

Gamol: Paano mo ida-Dub ang Urban? Baka ma-Shock ka, pag na-Slap ka!
Fanboy: Nods enthusiastically and drools.


Wala pa yung nightmare matrona trinity sa dating tinatambayan namin. I'll save that for another day. :P


**** Katy Perry's controversial songs